apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I didn't notice because vodka
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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