90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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