You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
