Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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