Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
