I can't watch pbs sober anymore
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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