im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
