so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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