He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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