Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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