the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
