Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
