Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize