I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.