I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low