I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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