Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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