i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
