Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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