My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
