I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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