my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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