Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's always time for handjobs
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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