after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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