I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
