I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
me + whiskey = a bad person
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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