her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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