I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
