New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
