I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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