No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
