he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
