bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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