The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
