i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
