Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize