I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
