your thong is hanging out like whoa
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
where are you?
Hypothermia
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
