Got a toothbrush?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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