Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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