Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
