I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
