my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
