watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
