i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
