i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
