if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am available for nakedness
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
