If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
