Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
