all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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