You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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