Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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