Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
