So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
