he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
