Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
