GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
