yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
