you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize