p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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