Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
