You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
