are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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