I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
