I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
