stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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