I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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